one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
