A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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