K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
