Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
