im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Is it penis luge time yet?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
