I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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