Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
