No stitches, just platelets and will power
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
