the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
