it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
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