I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
