I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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