I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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