so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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