420 ftw
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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