We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
