so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
ttyl tear gas
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
