we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
