You really coming over, don't trick.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We left the knife in your bed.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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