I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
