I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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