Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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