you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
