Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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