i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize