He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
