just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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