God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
