you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
