check it out our google latitudes are spooning
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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