You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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