remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
