So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
