how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
