it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
my liver is dry heaving
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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