I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
