Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
