Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
