Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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