Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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