mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Me too!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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