Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
