Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
