oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
