it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
