she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
