she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
sarcasm needs its own font
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
