Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
