soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
