I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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